Student Teaching: Fears, Hopes, and Forgiveness
Four years ago, I was told I would student teach my senior year. It was a long way away, and I just tried to get through my undergraduate coursework. With the end goal so close now, all I can think is that I should have been reading classroom management and lesson planning books. Why didn't I apply for a substitute teacher job earlier on? How does everyone else in the education major have more experience than I do in schools? Why didn't I do more research on the American education system in the first place?
These are my intrusive thoughts, that annoying voice in the back of my head that keeps a running list of all of my insecurities and sets standards unrealistically high. I'm going to be a student teacher, and the whole point of student teaching is to learn how to teach. I'm not already supposed to know everything. So, I remind myself that I need to breathe. I remember that I have a whole network of experienced professors to draw from. I know that my mentor teacher will give me constructive feedback. It's way too easy to fall into a hole of self-doubt when you have zero experience.
In times like these, it is necessary to think of hopes and outcomes. Here are a few of my own hopes:
1. That I will get constructive, timely feedback from my mentor teacher.
2. That I will plan ahead and use the time that I have wisely.
3. That I will build connections with faculty members in the new school.
4. That I will not be hesitant to ask for help when I need it.
5. That I will pick myself up on the harder days, and be ready to go again.
Here's hoping that I will take what I've learned and use it to learn a lot more.
I forgive myself for not having learned everything yet.